The Scratch

It's hard being a working mom. Really hard. Especially when your baby has to go to daycare. A place where there are lots of other kiddos. A place where yeah, you've gotten to know your child's caretakers, but you don't really "know" them. Every day you drop her off and put your faith in God that when you pick her up at the end of the day, she will be just as good and happy and pain free as when you left her. But, that isn't always the case. The hardest thing is knowing that you aren't there to catch her when she falls, to wipe her tears and tell her that "mommy's here, everything will be OK." I almost reached a breaking point in this whole daycare situation the other day...

On Wednesday I picked Leila up from daycare - she was happy to see me like usual and her teacher told me she had a pretty good day. So, we went home, I fed her some dinner, and we headed into the bathroom for a bath. As I was taking her shirt off, I was shocked to tears at what I saw. A scratch. And not just a little "oh poor baby scratched herself" kinda scratch... a deep gash from 3 little finger nails digging into my child's side. It was completely swollen and just starting to scab over. Check this thing out for yourself:



Gnarly, right? I put Leila in the bath and the heat from the water on it made her whine in pain. I cleaned it with soap while she squeeled and I fumed with anger at the fact the NO ONE knew that my daughter had received this injury that day. Ok, so I'm a very understanding person and I really do give people the benefit of the doubt. I understand that they can't keep their eyes on a child at all times and I understand that the scratch was under her shirt and they did not notice. But, what I do not understand is the fact that she MUST HAVE screamed bloody murder when it happened and someone had to have known she was hurt in some way. Did they comfort her? Did they wipe her tears and hold her? Mommy will never know because I wasn't there. All I do know is that yesterday (when Leila was home with daddy - thank God!) I called the daycare director and vented my frustrations. She checked with both of Leila's teachers and neither of them recalled her ever screaming out in pain. There is NO way that another kid took a chunk out of her side and she didn't cry. Baby girl freaks out when she trips over her own two feet!

Anyhoo, today I [reluctantly] dropped her off at daycare with a smile on my face and a positive attitude. When I picked her up she was super happy, I was told that she had a great day, and the director appoligized to me profusely, saying that she didn't realize the injury was so bad and that they would start doing body checks from now on. That's great, but I want to know that my child is being watched and loved on and comforted. It's just scary because you put your faith in these people and you never really know what goes on exactly while you are at work.

I could keep going on for hours about my constant struggle with working vs. staying home, etc. but I won't for now. Oh trust me, I will be posting much more on this in the future. For now I will just pray. Pray that Leila is taken care of and that I'm doing the right thing by continuing to work. One day at a time...

On a positive note, check out the VERY handsome men in my life. :)

My first born child...




My Superman (doesn't he kinda look like Clark Kent)...






Stayed tuned for the big reveal of my bathroom masterpiece tomorrow! Yes, I've painted it and now it is drying. Go ME!