Yeah, okay.

Leila: Watch mouse?

Me: Do you wanna watch Mickey Mouse?

Leila: Yeah, okay.

...

Leila: Outside?

Me: Do you wanna go outside?

Leila: Yeah, okay.

...

Leila: Snack?

Me: Are you hungry?

Leila: Yeah, okay.



For the past few days Leila has been cracking her daddy and I up with her yeah, okay's. I don't know where it came from, but she has been saying it all the time. Usually she'll drop one after she asks for something and then you confirm to make sure that's what she's asking. And she says it in such a way that makes it sounds like it was your idea all along, not hers. Kinda like "yeah, okay I guess we can do that if you really want."

She has been my light in a rather dark week. Don't know what I'd do without my girl!

Wise Words Wednesday: Stupid Funny

"Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery." - Unknown

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Ha! Yes, this is a stupid post, but I need some humor in my life right now! So, I decided to browse some funny pics and share with you.

Happy Hump Day!

37 weeks

Full term baby!



Maybe it's just the sweatshirt, but I look HUGE this week (well, compared to last time anyway)!

Pregnancy tid-bits for this week...

• Emotionally this has obviously been the toughest week of my pregnancy, BUT it has distracted from the usual aches and pains.
• I'm thinking this baby may come early. I have been having random, uncomfortable contractions... which I never experienced with Leila.
• I REALLY want him to hang tight for another 3 weeks... just so that I can be in a better place mentally and emotionally than I am right now.
• Our house is pretty clean and I have most of the baby stuff set up and ready to go, but unfortunately I don't think I will succeed in completing my pre-baby to-do list 100%.
• Leila Jade is seriously sensing the impending birth of her baby bro. She has been SUPER attached to me lately - wanting me to carry her everywhere. It's exhausting. She also wants to sit in her highchair again (which she has avoided for months now). I'm thinking potty training is going to be delayed for a while once he gets here. Oh well.
• I pre-registered at the hospital, so I am ready to go! Now I just need to fix my head and wrap up all the loose ends at work.

PS - I took most of today off work and spent it with Jess. I feel soooooo much better after being with her for a while. She is seriously one strong, amazing lady. I know that some day she will be ok again.

A New Angel

If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven
And bring you home again.
~Author Unknown

One of the happiest, brightest, bravest, strongest, most loving, most fun, inspirational people I have ever crossed paths with passed away this morning. My heart is broken. Broken for Mike and what he had to go through in the end, but mainly my heart is broken for Jessica, his beautiful wife and my childhood best friend. I have never felt a greater urge to sacrifice some of my own happiness to ease another's pain. If I could, I would in an instant.

As for me, I feel strong right now. I spent most of the day drowning in sorrow, but I'm back. I'm ready to be strong for my friend. I'm ready to be strong for my baby growing inside me. And for my family.

One day at a time.

A Dark Place

I am a happy person and I feel extremely fortunate for the life that I have. But every life has its ups and downs. Mine is just in a strange place right now. A place where a HUGE "up" (my baby's soon-to-be birth) is moving along with a HUGE "down" (my best friend preparing to lose her hubby to cancer).

Needless to say, I have had a very rough weekend. And I'm not gonna lie. I always wanted this blog to be full of rainbows and sunshine (as you can tell with the cheesy design), but I think it may be in a little bit of a darker place for a while. It is after all sort of like my diary. And I can't just bottle in all of the pain I feel right now.

I have so many questions about life running through my head. Why do bad things happen to such good people? How does one find the strength to go on when they feel like they don't have anything left? How can one really embrace and love and make the most of this one sweet, short, and precious life in a world with so much pain and suffering and stress?

I guess the only real answer is GOD. And FAITH.

I am just exhausted right now... Emotionally from bearing the pain of what my BFF is going through watching her one true love suffer. Physically from this pregnancy. And mentally from all of the deep thoughts I've been having lately. And a serious lack of sleep these past few nights doesn't help either.

Where will I find the strength? The strength to deliver and care for a newborn? The strength to be there with my whole heart for my BFF? The strength to keep a smile on my face? I've never been in a place like this before. A place with so much light and happiness colliding with so much darkness and pain. It's rather strange feeling actually. I'm grateful that I have the faith that everything will work out just fine in the end.

And I worry about her:



My little miss sassy pants has been quite the handful this weekend. She can totally sense that something isn't right with mommy.

And me? I've been rallying for her all weekend, pasting a smile on my face and trying my best to pretend that everything is normal.

(This pic did totally make me laugh at least!)


Well, I think my roller coaster ride is just getting started. It should be a very interesting next couple of months. Bring it on.

Random Goodness

After an excruciatingly LONG week at work, all I can muster up right now are some random thoughts and pics. Enjoy!

Long lost Summer lake pic...


...The first weekend of Fall and we are set for record heat! Too bad I plan on hunkering in at home and nesting all weekend. But ya know what? I am super excited for that! I am in full on nesting mode now. It finally kicked in.

My favorite place...


...Leila Jade had her very first dentist appointment on Wednesday. I've been putting it off forever because I know how much she hates when we get at her teeth, so I knew a complete stranger would have one helluva time. But ya know what? She did great! Fussed a little, but they were sooooooo fast and good about distracting her with toys/balloons...I wish I would have taken her sooner!

Paradise...


...Mike & Jess have returned home. Mike is now in the hospital right down the street from us, so we are planning a trip to visit tomorrow if he is feeling up to it. I want nothing more than to see them both, but at the same time I am terrified. I know it is going to be really hard. Sigh.

Gorgeous...


...Leila pooped on the potty for the 2nd time the other day while she was home with daddy. The best part? She just woke up from her nap and did it all by herself then went and found her daddy watching TV and told him. I am so proud of her!

Too bad this one is blurry...


...I have been tossing and turning so much at night all week that I'm hardly getting any sleep - I think I am ready for the sleepless nights with baby now.

Leila loves her babies...


...My hubby admitted to me that the other day he watched Beauty & The Beast on TV while Leila napped. He thought I would make fun of him, but the truth is that it just makes me love him that much more!

My hubby is a master gardener and photo taker...


...Am I the only one in complete shock that Fall is already here? It seriously feels like Summer just got started! But everywhere I turn there are Halloween decorations already up, pumpkin spice lattes being sipped, and ladies busting out their cute boots. And now my hubby wants to hang our Fall wreath on the front door. Not sure I'm ready for it yet.

Wish I could enjoy some of this right about now...


...I highly recommend pina colada & mojito flavored mentos. YUMMO!

Happy weekending!

Wise Words Wednesday: PRAYER REQUEST

"Work as if you were to live a hundred years. Pray as if you were to die tomorrow." - Benjamin Franklin

My best friend Jessica, Her hubby Mike, & Me (at their wedding 6 years ago)


A few months ago I posted this after my best friend informed me that her hubby has stage IV cancer (malignant melanoma to be exact). Since then I, along with all of their friends & family, have been along on a crazy, emotional roller coster as they traveled across the state and most recently down to California meeting with specialists and enrolling in different clinical drug trials. Through it all Mike has been AMAZING in spirit. His faith in healing has never wavered and even today, when things are at their worst, he is still able to keep a smile on his face. He truly is an inspiration.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6

I am asking today for prayers. I'm sure my friends/family who read my blog are already praying on a daily basis for Mike's recovery. To those of you I do not know, or who do not know Jess & Mike, I ask that you take a minute and say a prayer. A prayer for relief of his pain. A prayer that he will walk on his own again. A prayer that he will be able to eat more food. And most importantly, a prayer for a miraculous FULL recovery. I believe wholeheartedly in the power of prayer, so the more people we can get praying the better.

THANK YOU!

If you are interested in reading more about Mike's journey so far, you can visit his Caring Bridge page at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/michaelcarpenter.

36 weeks

Sorry about the super crappy pic this week. 1) No bare belly because I was too lazy to change and didn't want to flash you & 2) Blurry, horrid photo because I forgot to have my hubby take one on Sunday, so I ended up taking it myself with the tri-pod. Next week will be better.



Pregnancy tid-bits for this week...

• Crazy things are happening with my weight gain... I have actually dropped below where I was with Leila last time. This whole time I've been bigger than I was with her, but now I am losing pounds. Doc said he would be concerned with my size if it weren't for the U/S I had last week which showed that baby is measuring one week ahead of schedule. So, it's all good.
• The placenta is well outta the way now! Vag delivery here I come!
• Doc thinks I'll actually go early this time (I was induced a few days past my due date with Leila). I have no signs of early labor, but baby is big so we'll see.
• I feel like I should probably pack the hospital bag and install the car seat base just in case, but I just haven't found the time yet.
• I am in utter shock that I have less than 1 month to go now. I feel way less prepared than I did with Leila which seems crazy considering this is my 2nd child.
• Work is stressing me out. Still don't know who will be covering what for me while I'm out. And I have soooooooo much to wrap up!
• I'm so hungry. All. The. Time. But, the reflux is absolutely killing me lately, making it hard to eat much of anything. Pooey.
• All of the baby clothes are washed and put away and ready to go! At least I'm on top of something.
• Baby has hair! The ultrasound tech last week showed me. I really hope he ends up with his Daddy's thick, curly-ish hair.

The End - for this week. :-)

Feeling discouraged...

...about getting my pre-baby to-do list done before baby gets here. But, I'm going with "that's okay!"

My weekends lately have been spent with a lot more planned activities: weddings, showers, bachelorette parties, birthday parties, family dinners, play dates. This has all been exhausting when a part of me has really wanted to just be home and "nest," but at the same time I wouldn't trade a second of the busy-ness because it has all been time spent with family and friends. And in the end, that is much more important and memorable in my life than getting our office cleaned out.

This past weekend I had the pleasure of being busy AND being productive. My girlfriends dragged my 8-month pregnant ass out on the town Friday night for a bachelorette party. Who knew a big, fat pregnant chick could have so much fun at a winery, martini bar, and dancing the night away at a piano bar? Well, I didn't! But, I ended up having a blast and by the time I got my second wind, I had no troubles staying out and on my feet until midnight. Good times (unfortunately, I don't have pics to share). The rest of my weekend was spent being semi-productive... I shopped for baby and Leila stuff that I needed (per hubby I will be returning approximately $80 worth of merchandise) and my AMAZING sis-in-law and nephew came in and helped me wash and sort a bazillion baby clothes. See, productivity! And Leila had a blast with her Auntie & Cousin...









Now, I just want to end this post by saying that I am not giving up on my pre-baby to-do list completely. I still have a few weeks to get 'er done and I plan on trying. I've just come to realize that I'd rather make the most of every moment that comes my way (even the ones that involve sitting on my arse and enjoying a movie over cleaning the house) than stress about being super organized and on top of everything. Life is too short. And, nobody is perfect.

Oh happy day! (& photo bomb of Leila's 1st year!)

Back in June we lost ALL of our photos taken prior to this year, due to the dropping of our external hard drive (see this depressing post for the deets on that). Needless to say, since that moment I've gotten teary-eyed any time I think about all of the baby pics of Leila that I lost. I don't care as much about the pics from college or the pics from before we were married...I just care about my daughter's baby pics. Anyway, we were told it would cost us a VERY pretty penny just to have someone attempt to fix our hard drive (something about a dust free environment, yada yada). So we haven't done anything about it. And then today happens...

I'm at work, cleaning out my desk and trying to organize my work life before I have this baby. What do I find? A stack of burned disks with ALL of the pics from our old computer!!! I almost crapped my pants. And I can't believe I forgot about them! Basically, when our old computer got attacked by that nasty virus, we paid someone to completely clean it off and re-boot it to get it working again. That's why we got the external hard drive - to save all our pics. Welllllllllllll, the guy who fixed our computer took the extra precaution of burning everything to disks just in case... and i TOTALLY forgot because at the time I didn't care and shoved them in a junk drawer in my office.

Oh happy day!

I have been in bliss re-living my daughter's first year of life. Something I haven't been able to do for months. So, I will share a little snapshot of her first year with you...



























I'm so happy to have these again! They may not be the best pics, but it is kinda fun to look back on our funky photo taking skills before we had our fancy camera. Needless to say, this next little one will have some higher quality pics taken!

Happy weekending all!

Wise Words Wednesday: Live a Life of Love

“Where there is love, there is life.” - Indira Gandhi.

Looky who I got to see today...


Isn't my little chunker so cute! I am overflowing with pure LOVE today! And, like I've said before, I LOVE love! I guess I'm just a super sap at heart. I really, truly, deeply feel and believe that LOVE is what life is all about. Without love, there is no life. It really is all that matters in the world. If you can live a life of love, you have it all figured out. But, it isn't always so easy. Sometimes we experience stress at work, an argument in a close relationship, someone cutting us off for the perfect parking spot... these things do not elicit love. BUT, that doesn't mean we can't stop and take a deep breath and choose to focus on the things in life we love. Whether that is a person, a favorite book, a hobby, or a type of food. Taking a second to bring out those feelings of love can change your life in a moment of darkness and in turn change those around you.

Not that I really know what I'm BSing about right now. I just feel inspired by love today. Inspired by my precious son growing inside of me, my feisty little toddler running around me, and my supportive hubby who is always there for me. Life is good. Love is good.

35 weeks

Well, I think it's a downhill slide from here - only 5 weeks to go!



Pregnancy tid-bits for this week...

• I'm...so...tired...not really sure what to say today.
• My body is sore. See yesterday's post. I feel like I'm ready to be done being pregnant, but at the same time I love it. I'm tired of the aches and pains and the tossing and turning at night and the million and one pees throughout the day. BUT, I love knowing that there is someone growing inside me. I love feeling his little kicks. And basically, I just love being fat for a change.
• Made a pretty hefty error on something at work and I blamed my pregnancy. That's ok, right? Well, I really do feel like I've been out of it lately, so I'm going with YES, IT'S TOTALLY OK.
• The crazy pregnancy dreams are getting even cRaZiEr! The other night I seriously dreamed about placentas ALL night long. I kept dreaming that Andy was either trying to eat my placenta or trying to compound it at his pharmacy into a vitamin we could take at home. Soooo weird. I mean, I know people really do things like this, but it just isn't for me.
• I'm finally entering nesting mode. I've washed and folded a bunch of the 0-3 month clothes, got the crib all ready, cleaned our infant car seat, and started putting together a diaper bag. However, I still have a lot of progress to make on my original BIG ticket pre-baby to-do list....

Speaking of my pre-baby to-do list, here's where I stand right now...

• Clean out the garage and GET RID OF CRAP!
• Organize the office (without spending ANY $). I would love to turn it into my little craft room.
• Put my jewelry making supplies to use! I need to complete a trial run before baby gets here! But I need the office organized first!
• Sew blankie #2 for little man along with burp rags with leftover fabric.
• Sit down and have a serious budget talk with the hubby. We need to discuss ways to control our spending better ASAP.
• At the same time, convince hubby to let me spend lots of $ on stuff I need for baby... cloth diapers/wipes, wet bags, diaper sprayer, new breast pump kit, ergo baby carrier, & I really want a Kindle/Nook (ok, so maybe this one has nothing to do with baby... he he).
• Figure out plan for when/if I return to work... I need to talk to hubby and the boss man... part time? full time? not at all? I have some serious thinking & figuring out to do.

Not too bad, eh? I did indeed sit down with the hubby the other night and talk finances. However, the only conclusion we came to is that we spend WAY too much money on food. At the store, at restaurants, everywhere. I guess we just love to eat. I won't even tell you how much we spent on food last month because it'll make you sick. This talk took place after we got a quote for a monthly/bi-monthly house cleaning from a local maid service. With our spending habits the way they are right now the maid thang ain't gonna happen. So, we are going to try to cut back on food spending (hello organized shopping lists and coupon clipping!), maybe cut our cable out completely, and try to trim down our cell phone bill. Any EASY money saving tips out there?

Funny thing is that right after our money talk (i.e. the next day) I did a little online shopping and bought the remaining big ticket items on my baby to-do list... more diapers, diaper sprayer, ergo carrier, wet bags. All necessities, though!

Now I have 5 weeks to get the office in shape, make some jewelry, and decide what to do about work. However, I have to be honest that the work thing probably won't get done until after baby comes. I just don't know yet. I need to see and feel how my life is with 2 kiddos at home. Stay tuned...

I can't believe I didn't...

...send myself into early labor this weekend! I had a couple of very action packed, busy, busy, busy days. And it was great!

Saturday I had the honor of being in the wedding of one of my best friends since high school. I started the day off with a very cranky, sick hubby and equally cranky daughter at home (that could be a whole post in and of itself), but ditched them early on to go get my hair done and hang out with the girls before the big event. Everything went off without a hitch and Holly was absolutely beautiful (and the calmest bride I've ever seen!)...

Holl & I pre-ceremony...


Family pic at the reception (hubby and daughter were much happier by then)...


Leila's stink face - HA HA!...


Having fun on the dance floor with Devin...


The bubble thief! This girl was scouring neighboring tables, stealing bubbles...


Saturday was GREAT, but also exhausting! I headed out to get my hair done at 9am and didn't get home until after 9pm. And I was on my feet most of the day. By the time I woke up this morning, my hips barely wanted to work and my legs felt like I ran a marathon. It's crazy how much harder being on the go is when you're 8 months pregnant.

Today (Sunday) I got to spend the morning relaxing (well, kind of). I stayed home with my fam and got some baby-to-do things taken care of... washing/organizing 0-3 month clothes, sterilizing breast pump parts/bottles, & packing the diaper bag. It felt good. And then when Leila went down for a nap around noon, Andy & I also lounged in bed and watched TV. Sooooooooooo nice! And then? We went to the county fair!!!

Leila & Daddy checking out the cows...


...& bunnies...


...& pigs!


And, enjoying all of the goodies the fair has to offer...






Leila's favorite part? The carousel!


We seriously had a blast! I chowed down a hand-dipped corn dog & root beer float in the 95 degree weather and I was in heaven! Heat and junk food and a smile on my daughter's face - it doesn't get much better than that!

And now it is about 9pm and my eyes are trying to close on me. Time to switch over a load of laundry and then hit the sack. And then I plan on taking it easy the next few days. While I'm excited to meet my baby, I totally don't want him to come early! I'm not ready yet! :-)