Dreams To Do: Tough day at the office...

But isn't it always tough to go back to work after vacation? Well today was especially tough for me. It was one of those days that reinforced my key Dream To Do: figuring out a way to work from home so I can spend more time with my Leila.

And no, it wasn't because work was difficult today. It was because after spending 4 full days with her mommy, my little girl had an exceptionally hard time saying good bye to me when I dropped her off at daycare. Normally we go in, she waves and smiles at her teacher and friends, I put her at the little table for breakfast, she gets her food, I sit with her for a few minutes, she gives me a kiss, and I'm out the door as she starts eating. But today we went in, she looked around and realized her main favorite teacher wasn't there, I put her at the table and she started wailing. And it wasn't the obnoxious, whiny cry that I sometimes get. It was the eyes clenched shut, trying to block out the painful world kinda cry. Big tears streaming down her face. My heart throbbed with pain. I picked her back up, comforted her until she stopped and left as she sat there bewildered. I got in my car and headed to work with tears in my eyes.

Why do I do this? How can I leave my child when she is so sad? This start to my day just set it off on the wrong track. My head hurt. My heart hurt. I had no motivation to get caught up on the piles of work I left behind last Wednesday. BUT, I pulled through. Slowly I got over my traumatic morning. I told myself that this isn't FOREVER. Some day I will not have to take her to daycare as often. Some day I will not be the one leaving her everyday. The time just has to be right. Andy and I are working on building up our savings and I am trying to figure out what I can do once I'm not working full time. Or, will it be worth it for me to stay working part time? These are things I will figure out eventually. And this little ole blog is my first step to getting there.

Anyhow, by the time I picked Leila up from daycare at 5:10pm, she was all smiles and ended up having a good day. We came home and made up for lost time together.

Mommy loves her little girl...
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