Just Write {A Moment in the Sun}

This past Sunday brought with it a few minutes that I will remember forever. It wasn't so much about what happened, but more about the feelings I felt.

The day was boring. I was home alone with the kiddos, catching up on laundry and cleaning, and hoping that the sunshine would eventually beat out the dark, thunderous clouds. Miraculously, I got both kids down for a nap at the same time and the sky opened up and Summer appeared. For approximately 5 minutes I was able to relax out on our back porch, my face turned up towards the sun. Ahhhhhhh....

Lost in my thoughts, I was brought back to reality by the sound of a little wimper coming over the baby monitor. I sighed and headed indoors and up the stairs to where I found a little girl in a wrinkled sun dress sitting on the top step. With matted frizzy hair and sleep still in her eyes she gave me a smile and reached out to me. I scooped her up comfortably on my left hip and she rested her head on my shoulder. Down the stairs we went.

"Leila, do you want a snack?"

"Noooo."

"Would you like something to drink?"

"Noooooooooo."

"Do you want to sit in the sun with Mommy?"

"Yeah, ok."

So out we went. In my favorite outdoor swivel chair I reclined back, facing the bright sun with my girl curled up on my lap, her ear to my heart.  I closed my eyes. Birds chirped happily in the trees above us and the sound of a circus melody flowed from an ice cream truck in the distance. Just as the sun was feeling a little too warm, a soft breeze came to the rescue.

All of sudden, out of nowhere, I was overcome with the most pure, honest joy and love. I had a flash back to when I was little and I wanted nothing more than for my baby doll to be real. My mom would tell me to enjoy my childhood, that someday I would get to be a mom when I was big like her. And here I am. I'm pretty sure the goofiest grin spread across my face. I just felt so blessed and so content and so happy.  At that instant there were no troubles in my life. In that moment in the sun, I caught a glimpse, a feeling, of what life is all about.

A few minutes later, Leila snapped out of her groggy post-nap state and proceeded to run around the yard while "Ga Ga Ga, Da Da Da!" boomed out of the moniter. Panic set in as I frantically tried to hold on to my moment, to bottle up what I was feeling so that I could some how take a little sip of it every now and then.

Even now as I write this it is hard for me to remember exactly what I felt, but I know it exists and that's all that matters.