First off, no I am not pregnant. Sorry if I got you excited for a split second. I've just been thinking about babies a lot lately. I know, I know - I have a baby so why the heck am I thinking about having more babies? Well, it seems like at least once/week someone asks me how Landon is doing and this leads to the question of when we are going to have another one. People are so straight forward, aren't they? And this means that I am left pondering that question a lot. I mean, do I even want another child?
Then I see a beastly, crawling little boy down at my feet and I wonder, where did my baby go? Where is the quiet, snugly little thing that used to fit in a wicker basket? And even though he's still technically very much a baby, a small (& crazy) part of me wants a newborn again. The fact that my days of swaddling, and 0-3 month clothing, and newborn-baby smell could be over if I don't have another child makes me very sad. I don't think I savored Landon's newborn-ness enough.
But then I think about the flip side - the waking up every 2 hours, the poopy diapers, the potty training, the tantrums. Do I really want to start over with all of that again?
And then out of no where Leila randomly asks for a baby sister. I knew it was going to happen eventually, I just didn't think it would be this soon. I questioned her back to make sure I understood correctly...
"You want mommy to carry another baby in my belly so that you can be a big sister again?"
Leila replied, "Yeah! A baby girl!"
I smiled and said, "Okay."
How does one choose whether or not to have another child? I guess some people grow up knowing exactly what they want out of life, including their family size. Others choose based on finances. In all honesty, if I won the lottery I'd have 10 babies just because I could afford to have someone help me when needed and I wouldn't have to work.
In my case, I think it comes down to a gut feeling. The idea of having more children actually frightens me. I feel like I'm losing my sanity at times as it is and the thought of raising teenagers scares the crap out of me. BUT, deep down I just know that our family isn't complete yet. Something, someone, is missing.
In the end I guess it's up to God.
It must be hit you when your baby hits 8 months...I'm so there. I keep telling Mike I want another one (even though I know we have our hands full right now!). Right with you with the "I don't feel done feeling!" I'm hoping I can convince Mike to have a third when my other two are 3 and 4ish...but we'll see :) Miss you all!
ReplyDeleteI've got a beautiful two year old and I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I'm terrified! Haha. Just the thought of going through all the rough parts again...and with a toddler in the house...scares me to death. However, I'm also thrilled to bring another little girl into the world. Whether we will have another or not...well, we too will be leaving that to God. Good luck!
ReplyDeletecute baby.
ReplyDeletemy blog : http://www.christianyuen.blogspot.com/ greetings from hong kong.╰╮o(￣▽￣///) cheers,chris
You stole the words out of my mouth, friend. I've had word vomit a few times saying, "I want another baby!" and Eli says, "You have one already!" But the snuggly newborn age is so fun. Ideally, I'll have another one in October 2013. :) But it kind of freaks me out that if that's the "plan" that would mean being pregnant again soon- and my pregnancy was AWFUL. Oh well. :)
ReplyDeletexoxox
Hey, maybe your next pregnancy will be a breeze! I absolutely love being pregnant, so I can't wait for that party. I just don't think I want to care for another kid yet. :)
ReplyDeleteOnce you see your babies together, all will be great in the world! I was super duper duper terrified right before I had Landon, but Leila took to him perfectly and juggling the two wasn't as bad as I had imagined. :)
ReplyDeleteI just can't decide whether I want to try to pop one out sooner and get it over with (pretty sure we'll be done after #3) or space it out a little. I've always had the idea in my head that I wanted to be done having kids by the time I'm 30, but that's only a year and a half away!
ReplyDeleteI always told Mike I was done at 30, as well. So, I guess that actually works with my plan...I'd be 29 when we had the third. But yeah, the idea of being pregnant again and chasing TWO kids scares the poop out of me! Plus, then I'd for sure quit my job...so many things to think about :) But you make beautiful kids - you should definitely have another!
ReplyDeleteI have 2 beautiful girls and I am done. I do get sad when I think about not having a baby anymore though. New follower from Wiegand hop. Love for you to stop by and return the follow.
ReplyDeletewww.thenaptimereview.com
Ummm, why are you like the cutest pregnant lady ever? I will admit that I got really excited when I saw your post title because I totally thought you were knocked up. For me I'd be scared with 3 kids that we'd be outnumbered, especially since Andy's schedule has me on my own a lot. But then again, I'm not a newborn person. I wasn't overly fond of the newborn stage, I prefer the screaming, psychotic toddler stage. What does your husband say?
ReplyDeleteHi Ariel! I just stumbled upon your blog. :) Your babes are adorable! I'm sure I'll be in your same position in about a year and a half. When I had my son, everyone kept asking when I'd have another (jokingly--I think--in the hospital immediately after I gave birth). While the newborn stage is hard, I knew right away that I wanted three babies, not the "one or two" that my husband and I had agreed upon before we were even married. He is still wishy-washy about three, but we're praying for our second.
ReplyDeleteThree does seem scary, but I am sure you, your husband, and children will grow and learn a routine that works. Good luck on whatever you decide!
Hi Katie! Thanks for your comment. I'm glad you stumbled upon my blog! :)
ReplyDelete